Telling Secrets
I am a girl full of secrets, but this was a secret I kept from you. Being in love with you was my little secret. I guess it was not so little after all. Knowing how I felt about you comforted me because I had something all to myself. I chose you in a place where I felt my choice was taken from me. I chose to be with you. It was peaceful and safe. With you came comfort and security, where my bones would lay easy, and my eyes could restfully bridge their seal. I seem only to bring chaos, but when my head lay in the crescent of your shoulder and neck, even the cars driving outside your open window whispered by with a gentle gust. You made the world a softer place, especially when you would walk on the outskirts of every sidewalk. Butterflies hugged my stomach, just looking at pictures of you. My body was restful every time I slept next to you. My unconscious knew more than I did.
There was nothing pressuring me to tell you I loved you, and I never needed to convince you about how I felt. There was this unspoken agreement we both knew. There was no fear that the reason I’d lose you would be over my feelings for you. I never thought I was in control of my love until I met you. Maybe that proves the importance of your time or timing in my life. I thought to myself, nobody needs to know. It is my little secret. But just because I kept it to myself doesn’t mean it wasn’t big and real, nor was I in control. I was just scared. I was so caught up in doing something right and doing right by you that I forgot how big my secret was. That is probably why losing you hurt me more than I led it on to be. My lesson has been learned, and I shall not keep that secret again. But I am a girl full of secrets, most of which I keep from myself.