Rainfall

I give such acceptance and forgiveness to others like it is rain to a fern in the first storm of winter. As rainfall is inexorable so is the fact that I will forgive. As if I am ignorant of what I am giving up for others and I do not even notice myself when I am in a room of other people. It is as though I have developed the weight and ideals that I am no longer allowed to need help, crave support, and thirst for affection like I am the fern in need of the water. But I am not a ghost and I do understand emotional and social things, I am not an idiot and most say I actually understand those kinds of things more than the average other. I just forget everything I need when it comes to becoming compassionate toward another person.

I treat myself like I am not allowed to feel the things that others feel. When I am upset I treat myself like I am not human. I give myself away to other people like I am here to be at their disposition. I give myself away as such to receive purpose from others. Because if I am always there no matter what and I weather the storm, I will be rewarded with rainfall. If I am always there, the people I love have no way of leaving me. I will always be the first rainfall that others so desperately thirst for, I will always accept and forgive to provide those feelings humans so desperately crave. I do this so I can be close and you won’t leave.